Apple unveils new iGina!

From the Associated Press

Cupertino, Califonia -- Fresh off the success of the iPhone, Apple
has once again rocked the technology market with the unveiling of
their newest product, the iGina; a new hand held device that combines
the functionality of a phone, ipod, lap top computer, and pocket
pussy, all into one.

"The iGina is literally five years ahead of any other pocket pussy on
the market," said Apple CEO Steve Jobs. "No other product out there
allows you to play music, access e-mails, check weather, all while
sliding your penis in and out of a soft, four inch shaft of self
lubricated, skin-like tissue."

iGina's pioneering PeniTouch, an industry first, lets users navigate
through their e-mails and voicemails, using only in-and-out thrusts
of their erect penis. The iGina also serves as a fully
functioning iPod, holding up to 1500 songs.

"I have an erection just thinking about the iGina," Jobs said,
speaking to a group of investors. "Good thing too, because I need to
check my e-mail," Jobs added, getting a laugh from the crowd.

The iGina has the rest of the self gratification industry scrambling
to compete.

"We just can't compete with their budget and resources," said Bill
Grimberg, CEO of Phuk-stick Industries, creator of the Flesh Light.
"I was working on a pockety pussy that had an LCD screen that said
the date and time, but that was as far as we had gotten."

Whether the iGina is a success remains to be seen. Analyst say the
market is already overflowing with anticipation. "There's people
already lining up outside. They brought all their lubricants and old
sex toys and put them in a pile and started burning them. It's
pretty creepy," said Tim Dupont, manager of the Pasadena Apple Store.

For more photos and information on the iGina, visit

http://www.buckinghamonline.com
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